Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
