I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
