Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
