Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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