dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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