That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
