I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
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I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There r osticjed everywhere
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
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In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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