Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
