does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
