I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
