those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually