Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
ttyl tear gas
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more