Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Alive.
So much puke
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
