you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".