Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets

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  (517): Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets http://tfl.nu/g504
  Replies (12) Good night (1623) Bad night (544)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?

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  (312): I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night? http://tfl.nu/ityh
  Replies (2) Good night (659) Bad night (1505)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it

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  (734): so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it http://tfl.nu/b75j
  Replies (32) Good night (869) Bad night (7178)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant

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  (705): dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant http://tfl.nu/i402
  Replies (25) Good night (1347) Bad night (10913)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.

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  (517): the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy. http://tfl.nu/ah1s
  Replies (36) Good night (984) Bad night (4721)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?

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  (208): How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles? http://tfl.nu/g9w4
  Replies (30) Good night (3881) Bad night (1657)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.

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  (440): I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night. http://tfl.nu/nh7e
  Replies (20) Good night (4503) Bad night (1521)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.

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  (914): Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen. http://tfl.nu/bjsq
  Replies (12) Good night (3174) Bad night (998)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.

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  (513): Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair. http://tfl.nu/sr76
  Replies (2) Good night (1039) Bad night (1989)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?

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  (407): I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right? http://tfl.nu/v5fc
  Replies (11) Good night (1763) Bad night (1155)
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  (298): View more from

  The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.

  (208): View more from Idaho

  You're the only meteorologist I listen to.

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  (298): The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations. (208): You're the only meteorologist I listen to. http://tfl.nu/2k8s
  Replies (3) Good night (2107) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.

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  (701): Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard. http://tfl.nu/ybia
  Replies (17) Good night (2695) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.

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  (479): Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual. http://tfl.nu/o63s
  Replies (2) Good night (439) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.

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  (904): There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone. http://tfl.nu/rh98
  Replies (3) Good night (298) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life

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  (912): Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life http://tfl.nu/g4nw
  Replies (2) Good night (456) Bad night (128)

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