So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex