i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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