just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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