Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's never too late to be topless.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
