That's when you crack a 10am beer
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
