Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
