I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
