Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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