my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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