Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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