doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?