I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
