toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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