I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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