just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize