Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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