you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
