He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
