Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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