and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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