I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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