i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
nutella sex= disaster
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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