I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
