I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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