It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just pee around me
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize