i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
