Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize