He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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