So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
