I wish i was in the wii world.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
