Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
