You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
