so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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