Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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