too bad you live with your parents still
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
