I'm gonna have a badass scar
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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