I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
