Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
