He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
