But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
