So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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