So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
