its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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