He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
