we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
