The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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