The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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