Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
