he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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