Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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