3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
where are you?
Hypothermia
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
