man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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