I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
