And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
