I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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