bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
