you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
