I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
