i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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