i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
